Kary Youman 00:30
Today we speak with Ashley Elizabeth, an empowerment coach and an Events Coordinator living her MTotal life down in Costa Rica at 33. Ashley Elizabeth’s path led her to Costa Rica, a destination born from a stormy journey. Her narrative weaves through a tapestry of challenges, early life abuse, a fractured family and being forced to cope with ADD ADHD through stimulants. conditioned to depend on medication, Ashley found herself caught in a perpetual cycle. The onset of COVID-19 intensified our struggles, transforming substances into coping mechanisms. Cocaine replaced coffee, morning routines included popping bottles of champagne, and cannabis became a constant companion. Her kitchen counter mirrored a buffet of chaos. Amidst this turmoil, a DUI served as a pivotal moment, catapulting Ashley to confront the depths of her addiction, and 2020. Despite its adversities, she discovered the space to embrace sobriety, severing ties with alcohol for the sake of her spiritual well being. Embracing the law of attraction, Ashley envisioned a life free from chaos. Five months into sobriety, a spiritual awakening Dawn, unveiling the illusion she had been numbing herself from, reignited her belief in personal power and the ability to shape her reality. shedding layers of false beliefs she embarked on a journey of healing and self love. Blessed by the universe’s affirmation, Costa Rica, her newfound Haven became the backdrop for self discovery, and a reconnection with her true essence. Each passing year strengthens Ashley’s clarity, her journey initially marked by pain, addiction and awakening has transformed into one of resilience, healing and self realization. Me total nation, we’re taking a break from the action to ask you a big favor. If you enjoy this content and want to hear and see more of it, we need you to subscribe to the pod on YouTube. click that bell button as well and follow us on Instagram and TikTok. This is the only way we can ensure that the message continues to get out. And you just never know who in your friend group could benefit from it. Hello, and welcome back to the fuzzy ish podcast, the kind of sober Show. I’m your host Carrie with my co host, Joe. Joe, how are you feeling? Man?

Joe Quattrone 03:06
Good. I’m excited. Excellent,

Kary Youman 03:08
excellent. We have a special guest today who I just kind of through the social webs connected with on Instagram. And you know, she was talking about me being on her podcast and it didn’t work. So I asked her to come on to our podcast. So I appreciate you. You are here. Ashley, really excited just to dive more into your story and learn all about who you are. So thanks for being here. Yeah, absolutely.

Ashley Elizabeth 03:30
Thanks for having me. I’m

Kary Youman 03:31
excited. Absolutely. So um, you know, we like to dive right in and not waste too much time with the formalities if that’s okay. But yeah, actually, you know, I was just kind of going through your Instagram, you obviously have had a story. You know, we talk a lot about, you know, this kind of me total journey, we talk about recovery, we talk about sobriety, and we talk a lot about how not everyone who is sort of pulled into recovery has sort of this rock bottom story where, you know, they get a DUI, there’s some domestic abuse, they lose their job. But you like myself, you have gone through some things. And I would love to just sort of unpack that just so our listeners can get a little bit more background, but just you know, learning a little bit about your past through social media and just some of the early things that you’ve experienced. Can you just share with our audience a little bit about just how some of your challenges early on kind of shaped and molded you to the person that we’re sitting here talking to today?

Ashley Elizabeth 04:26
Yeah, absolutely. So we’re gonna take it away back right. I come from the East Coast. I was raised in North Carolina. My parents divorced early on, and I was extremely impacted by not having a relationship with my father the way that I wanted. I really focused on that almost per separation even throughout the course of my you know, high school years, college years even now, it still impacts me To this day, but I was always looking at, like how I was being neglected, that he left and didn’t come back. And that was really what I hyper focused on for a really, really long time is his absence. And obviously, with that absence, meaning that I was raised by a single mother, there were so many other pivotal moments in my mother’s life aside from going through a divorce, but raising two girls at 25, you know, with no hands to help was really challenging for her. She did an immaculate job, but she also fell victim to the medical system, my sister was diagnosed with quote unquote, ADHD at like five, which then caused the medical system to then want to diagnose me. I was diagnosed with ADHD. And after that, we were both put on heavy, heavy, large amounts of stimulants. My mother was also on antidepressants at the time, so it was just an entire household full of just like, you know, popping pills and taking medications to quote unquote, function and, and be, you know, a good Samaritan, you know, like, you know, you don’t want to be causing issues in the classroom, you know, that’s why they put me and my sister on on pills, or like, my mom didn’t want to be breaking down at the grocery store. So then, of course, she’s like, on her own medications and stuff. And so that really just laid this very interesting foundation of numbing. We were just numbing. And so that really just kind of trickled over into how else can I know myself. And I think, you know, it’s pretty common when people start talking about how they started drinking in high school, which I did, which then carried over into college, and well, well surpassed that. I actually had a revulsion against my ADD medicine when I was in college. But I ended up stumbling upon other substances that were equally stimulating. But I felt like they were under my control. Somebody wasn’t telling me to do it, I was taking the power, quote, unquote, power that I had within myself. And so I turned to cocaine. I was doing heavy, heavy, large amounts of cocaine well into my 20s. And it became, basically, a really unhealthy crutch. You know, I was using it to party, I was using it for work, I was going to school simultaneously, I was pretty much doing cocaine all day long, I pretty much swapped out cups of coffee for lines of cocaine. And by the end of my journey, I pretty much had a plate on my kitchen counter, and I was just going off of it like a buffet, I was heavily medicating myself, not in a healthy way, I would do too much cocaine, then I would smoke weed to kind of counter it, and then I would be drinking and then I’d be too drunk. So then I do more cocaine. And it was just like this really vicious cycle that I was on. And it was just like, I wanted to feel okay. But it was I didn’t have the appropriate relationship with these substances to ever actually feel. Okay. So that’s kind of in a nutshell, I think in terms of like, what my backstory is with, you know, my family, how it really drove me to just kind of numb. But really, what I’ve come to the conclusion of is that I was running, I was running from a lot of things I wasn’t ready to face. And I was using these substances as a means of protecting myself. Until I came to the conclusion that it was time for me to start healing.

Kary Youman 08:48
Ashley, I appreciate you being so vulnerable and open about that, as someone who’s, you know, sort of gone down that road as well. It can be very, very challenging to break that cycle. And unfortunately, a lot of people don’t. I’m, I’m just curious. You know, it sounds like it’s been a gradual process. But was there sort of, I don’t want to say a come to Jesus moment, but like, what was sort of that moment for you when you were like, okay, like, this is not sustainable. What was that for you?

Ashley Elizabeth 09:13
Yeah, I like to call them sobering moments and sober and sobering. You know, right. Like, it’s this. Yeah, it was rock bottom for me. I ended up in 2019. Having, getting a DUI. And I would like to say that that pivotal moment was what shocked me, but it was still a good year after that. Really, really going really deep because we were in COVID at that time. So that’s when the plate of cocaine was out on my calendar because I was working remotely. So I was at home all day. So I would pop a bottle of champagne in the morning. You know, I’d be drinking throughout the course of the day, just like again, snorting lines over and over and over again. And one other incident where I was almost about to get in trouble with the law, again, was really what shook me. And I knew at that time about the law of attraction, that was really all I knew. And this one moment that was obviously an accumulation of other moments was me sitting here being like, what are you doing baby? Like this, this is not the life for you, this isn’t how you want to live, I was reflecting on my relationships with my family. At that time, I wasn’t even talking to my family. Because of my DUI, I was having a lot of problems with my friends, because of my substance use and who I became when I was under the influence. I was calling it a whole bunch of narcissistic partners that I had never had before. And thank God with my behavioral background, I was able to spot a lot of the red flags immediately. But it was enough for me to be like, okay, the law of attraction states, what you put out is what you get back. And what I was looking at and reflecting on was like, Okay, this is what my reality is mirroring back to me, what am I personally putting out, that is then attracting these things back to me. And so it was a real hard look at the substances that I was putting in my body. I mean, and, and my actions, you know, like they were what were attracting me to these experiences that weren’t, I think I’m in my highest alignment, and I knew that I could, I could have a more beautiful life. And that was my opportunity for me to really start shifting and making more informed choices for myself.

Joe Quattrone 11:38
You, you had mentioned earlier in the conversation, where you used air quotes, when talking about the medicine you were prescribed at an early age for add and your sister ADHD. How much do you think I mean, you know, we sit around, obviously, you dropped some pretty hardcore things out there, like cocaine and stuff like that. But how much do you think some of those legalized stimulants really helped create the cycle that you were on? Because I think, I don’t know from what I’m witnessing out there in culture, it almost seems like in mass, we’re drugging our children up and trying to, I really liked how you put it like getting us to sit still in class all day long is kind of like the preference of the system. Do you think we’re doing our society, and specifically, our young people a lot of harm, because we’re getting them into this, this drugging or this numbing effect at an early age? Absolutely.

Ashley Elizabeth 12:33
That’s, there’s a lot to unpack in this. I was a former school teacher. So I have a very personal, like, experience with the school system and what it wants from children. And so to start off with my own personal experience, you’re young, you’re seven, the doctors are telling you that you need this medicine, your mother’s telling you that you need this medicine. So what do you want to do? You want to be a good doctor, you want to be good, you want to be a good student. So you take this medicine so that way you’re good, and that you’re able to achieve and you’re able to fulfill what is being asked of you. But at the same time, little did I know the seven year old little me didn’t know, I don’t like the way that this medicine makes me feel. I didn’t , I didn’t, I didn’t even have the confidence to know that I had power to say no, you know, so I just continuously took it because that’s what it was being asked for. So what happens in the mind is that now I’m conditioning myself to believe and to think that I need to have medication every day in order to function. I’m now programming myself that in order for me to achieve and be successful that I need to take something you know, and so it’s this really harmful thing to a young child, he then turns into an adult that every day I have to wake up and I have to take something. I mean, I know that caffeine is obviously accepted, but it’s also being utilized heavily when people wake up and they’re like, I can’t do anything until I have a cup of coffee. Right? And I was there drinking coffee. But then it got to a point where it was like, Okay, now I’ve been introduced to cocaine. So this is way more fun. At least that’s what I was thinking. You know, like it went from a party scene to like I was. I was utilizing it as a means of being successful. I was going to work full time as a teacher, obtaining a master’s degree, along with multiple credentials and things like that. And so I was getting straight A’s. I was making six figures. I was living in a really beautiful space. And I didn’t see a problem with what I was doing. Because I was able to function and I was able to function well. Yeah. But

Joe Quattrone 14:48
it’s kind of like when you’re skateboarding or surfing and you start to get the speed wobbles and you’re, you know, you’re going fast and it’s awesome, but you’re probably going to fall down eventually. So, so let’s let’s fast forward back to 2020 by 2020, during the pandemic, just how, how much do you think the isolation and loneliness is attributed to your ability to recreationally kind of, you know, mix this cocktail together of prescription drugs, alcohol, cocaine, cannabis, all that kind of stuff? How much do you think isolation really played a role in? Is it getting much, much worse? Absolutely.

Ashley Elizabeth 15:24
Yeah. So being sheltered in place, I was living in California at that time. So we were heavily sheltering in place. And that contributed to my substance use because I didn’t have to hide it. Like I could, I could pour champagne and a random cup, and nobody would even know what it is that I’m drinking out of, you know, I was teaching preschool students, so I actually only taught for like 15 minute increments. So as soon as I was done playing with my little kiddies online, I closed the computer and go do some lines, you know, like, I was able to just do it off camera, because nobody could be in my apartment with me, you know, like, nobody could actually see what I was doing. And, of course, like, again, I feel like I’m just like, I’m, I’m high on life, you know, I’m high on drugs, but I’m also high on life, you know, I think I have this really interesting perspective that like, look at how much I’m accomplishing. Like, look at what I’m able to do. I’m so fucking badass, because I can sit here and I can, I can function with all these substances in me and still highly succeed. At least that’s what I was feeling. But, you know, it was so unhealthy. It was so unhealthy for me. And even though the isolation gifted me this quote, unquote, party that I, you know, party of one that I was enjoying COVID actually really helped me out a lot when it came to my sobriety, I was teaching remotely, but I was also traveling around the United States, because all my friends and one of my girlfriends lived in New Orleans. And that was the last leg of my trip. And she was actually with me when I got my DUI just a year before that. And she was one that I was with when we were about to get in legal trouble yet again. And as soon as I got on the plane to leave New Orleans to head back to California, I made a pact to myself that I wasn’t going to do this anymore, that I was going to finally go sober. So I had gone through the grieving cycle with, you know, my substances for a long time being in denial trying to bargain, but it really finally hit this point where I was like, Okay, I just have to accept, again, going back to the law of attraction, this isn’t the life that I want for myself. So I need to personally make choices, different choices. So that way I could then yeah, call in the life that I actually knew that I deserved to have.

Kary Youman 17:52
Speaking of, you know, calling in the life that you felt, you know, you truly desired. You know, some people go the route of, you know, a, there’s recovery, Dharma, there’s smart recovery, there’s rehab, there’s church, there’s isolation, it sounds like, you know, obviously, you have a community, there’s people around you, but it sounds like a lot of this was happening in isolation. You said, you’re introducing the law of attraction, like, what was sort of the combination of things that essentially kind of lifted you out of that frequency of just feeling like you had to use? Like, was that a person? Was it a group? What was that for you? Absolutely.

Ashley Elizabeth 18:24
So when I had gotten back to California, and I had made this commitment to myself, what was really working in my favor was that we were still sheltering in place. And I didn’t have this. I feel like a lot of people are really like, like, I feel like a lot of people are really nervous about going sober, because they know at the end, that their life is going to change. And they’re very attached to not only their lifestyle, but all the people who are in it. And I think what was working in my favor is that I couldn’t be around my friends, because we were sheltering in place. COVID naturally distanced me from the people, and the spaces that were keeping me and this desire to still be intoxicated. So when I had made this conscious decision that I wanted to go sober, I wasn’t able to hang out with my friends. I wasn’t able to, I didn’t feel like I had FOMO because there were no bars or clubs to go to. So it really set me up for success. This sense of isolation that I think a lot of people were really upset about was actually my saving grace. It gave me an opportunity to cut ties with the substances, and all of the other things that were really contributing to my desire to want to be on substances. Yeah, a

Joe Quattrone 19:51
a lot of people use the buzzword, living your authentic life, which I kind of equate to kind of living the life where you don’t lie to yourself, right? So with addiction addiction makes you the biggest liar particular to yourself? How would you feel that your journey to sobriety has been really a journey about being truthful with yourself and being honest with who you wanted to become? Absolutely,

Ashley Elizabeth 20:18
I remember, I was standing in my kitchen. And I think I was like a couple months sober at this point. And it all of a sudden hit me like a ton of bricks. And I was like, Oh, my God, I’m responsible. I’m responsible, I have been utilizing substances as a crutch, to harm myself, because I was harmed. But if you think about how many times personally, I was harmed as a little girl, it was nothing in comparison to the amount of times I had harmed myself under the use of substances. And I had nobody else to blame but myself. You know, basically I personally feel like there is a combination of people who are responsible, right, like, hurt people hurt people, right? And people do need to take responsibility for that, I don’t think that we need to bear the weight of all the responsibility of things that have been done to us. However, I do need to hold responsibility for myself for, you know, self harming myself. You know, my parents didn’t love me. And so I was like, Well, if you don’t love me, then I’m not going to love myself either. And that was really this victim mentality that I had held over myself for decades. Right, that if other people don’t love me, then why do I want to love myself. And that is what sent me down that slippery slope spiral of using these substances. And it was also what saved me. You know, I have traveled to Bali from 2018 to 2020. It was right after I had gotten my DUI, I wasn’t going to go home for Christmas, because I wasn’t talking to my family at that time. So I decided to go on a yoga retreat. This was my first time ever going to retreat, I thought we were just gonna go and be doing yoga. And what ended up being was this extremely beautiful container, where we were asked to liberate ourselves from things that were holding us back, we were transitioning from 2019 into 2020. And the theme of the retreat was what we were going to be letting go. And I remember sitting in the welcoming circle, this is my first time ever sitting in a shared circle, where everybody was being asked to share what it was that they were really saying. And this was the first time that I finally had to sit with what was going on in my life. And I had to reflect very quickly because I had to share that I was ready to release this expectation that I had with my parents, that they weren’t going to leave me that way that I wanted to be loved. And that this expectation that I held over them was what was causing me so much disappointment. It was causing disease in my body, it was causing me to do all these things to essentially validate what I should have, shouldn’t have been focusing on all along. And so when you release something you also call something in. And so when I was releasing this expectation of my parents, this love that I wasn’t receiving, I had to call in love from somewhere else, the only love that mattered. And that was the love that I could give myself. And I remember one of the days in the retreat was probably one of the most potent days of my life. We had been asked to go into 24 hours of silence. We stayed in our villas, they brought us all of our meals, and they gave us art supplies. So the whole day I drew and I painted and I made this flower mandala. And I finally sat down to write a journal about my day. And it really started off really beautiful. And I was like, I mean Foley overlooking the, you know, rice hills, and it’s so beautiful here. And then I started actually transitioning into a letter to my parents. And what I did was I wrote them a letter, which I never sent. But it was enough for me to get it off my chest that I was going to be released, like I said, these expectations that I had of them that this love or not love that I was being received actually created this really broken Foundation. And if we think about building a home, we realize we understand the importance of foundations right and nothing can be built off of a broken foundation. That is the most important piece of it all. And what I have come to the conclusion of is that everything in my life that I was building was falling down around me because my foundation was broken as well. And that I again my commitment to myself this new journey into self love was going to basically be building a new foundation and that everything off of that Everything that I would continue to build from that was going to be made very sound, because it was going to be coming from a place of myself and not from the expectations of others.

Joe Quattrone 25:10
Well, it’s powerful. Audience members, you are listening to the fuzzy ish podcast, go to Fuzzy ish podcast.com For other episodes, and to check out this episode that we have with Ashley, Elizabeth. Real quick on that, though, it sounds very similar. I went through very similar exercises with people in my past. I think that letting go of expectations is a very powerful cornerstone of your ability to overcome life in general. I always like to tell people, you know, have high expectations for yourself, but appreciate anything others can give to you. Right? So that allows you to walk through life in a much more positive kind of outlook, much more radiant from the inside out and be more attractive to kind of come back to this law of attraction. How have you been since that trip to Bali? Have you done similar exercises when it comes to, you know, other relationships in your life? Are you using this as a tool to kind of live a much more impactful life? In terms of all your relationships? How are you doing? Now that you’re in Costa Rica and thriving?

Ashley Elizabeth 26:19
Yeah, absolutely. Well, it’s a big, deep question to ask something that I haven’t actually really thought about too much. You know, I did this really beautiful practice. In Bali, because it was structured, it was included in the retreat, but to say, I actually continued to do this practice, like in that way, I should, you know, I should I, I definitely have released relationships with friends. When I was going sober, and I was still hanging out with some of my same friends, I quickly found that they weren’t supporting me the way that I wanted, and that they weren’t going to empower me the way that I needed. And I had to really evaluate if these people were really supporting me and being the friends that I needed that to have. And because they couldn’t show up for themselves, they couldn’t show up for me. And I was so committed to showing up for me that I had to get rid of anything that wasn’t in favor of that. Right? Again, going back to the law of attraction, if you want better for your life. If this is what you’re asking for, then you need to understand that your actions need to match that. If your actions don’t match what you’re asking for, then the universe is going to be confused. And she’s going to continue to give you what it is that you’re that you’re putting out there. And so I indirectly had shattered relationships with people who I found were in the same headspace as me, which then found that I was living in a completely different frequency. And that frequency allowed me to then attract other people who were walking the path that I was walking, and were more in alignment with the direction in which I was now headed. And so yeah, I have beautifully found myself here in Costa Rica, I am surrounded by so many people who are choosing to heal themselves. Right, they’re not running away from the things that they’ve experienced, they realize that in order to make a beautiful life for themselves, they have to face the stuff head on. And the thing that people don’t realize is that you can run, but you can’t hide. Every single thing that you are carrying with you is tucked away somewhere. It’s in a closet, it’s under a rug, it’s in your back pocket, it’s somewhere with you at all times. And it’s going to continue to show up and be there with you until you befriend it. And so that’s really, what this time has been since I’ve chosen to go sober is I’ve chosen to heal myself, I’ve chosen to finally sit with these things that I’ve been neglecting. You know, I thought that I could just numb myself for so long and it would just go away. But it didn’t go away. If anything it harmed me and, and kept me in like this really low space that I didn’t want to live in anymore.

Kary Youman 29:20
Speaking of healing, Ashley, you know, it’s different for everyone, especially in recovery. And I’m just curious for you, you know, you mentioned you’re at a yoga retreat, it sounds like yoga has become a part of your practice. Are there any other tools or just other things that you’ve been able to sort of lean into that have helped you to just go deeper into your journey? Whether it’s journaling, yoga, anything you can share?

Ashley Elizabeth 29:40
Absolutely. Well, let’s talk about the easier thing that I found is that Ceph substances for me weren’t just about the substances. I’ve come to this epiphany as of yet and what I’ve come to the conclusion is is like when I was heavily addicted to cocaine. It wasn’t just the substance that I was addicted to. It was the ritual around my addiction. I loved pouring the cocaine out on the plate, I loved getting out my credit cards and chopping it up into fine little pieces, I would get so meticulous about the lines that I would lay out. I had this titanium spoon that my dealer had given me, he was blue, we call them Little boy blue, like everybody knew I had a relationship with Him, everybody knew that he was always on me, you know, and he and I were like we were Ryder dies, you know, and it was all about, like, you know, snorting it. And it was just, it was a whole thing. It was a whole thing. It wasn’t just the cocaine, it was the entire ritual from start to finish. And since I’ve been here in Costa Rica, you know, it’s a vortex here of healing, I’m surrounded by healers, I’m surrounded by people who want to heal, you know, the land in of itself is extremely potent and powerful. And I was finally stopped. I was alcohol free. I was also addicted to cocaine, but I was also using other stimulants, or plant medicines to support me. And one day, I recall specifically that I had been extremely triggered at work. And I couldn’t find a way to calm myself down, I was crying uncontrollably. And all of a sudden, it started raining. And I decided I just had this intuition, intuitive feeling that I needed to go outside. And as I was outside crying and cleansing in the rain, I started picking up leaves off the grounds. And then I started picking up flowers. And I started arranging them in this really beautiful mandala, almost just like I had learned to do when I was in Bali. And I found this to be a really beautiful new ritual that when I’m upset, or whatever it is that I wish to put in as an intention, creating something really beautiful from start to finish was what was now the supportive behavior. For me to process what it was that was coming up for me. So that in of itself was one really powerful ritual that I have found has been really supportive for me. And kind of still supporting me in a way that I need without harming myself the way that I did, or I used to do.

Kary Youman 32:27
Yeah, thank you for sharing that. Actually, you know, I think a lot of times people can get intimidated by meditation or cold showers and just going outside into the elements and picking things up seems very, very doable, and at the same time just really pulls you in the moments I appreciate you sharing that? Well, I

Ashley Elizabeth 32:43
I think what people are often having a hard time with is that they’re looking at what’s working, or what’s being portrayed by everyone else. And they assume that that’s what they need to be doing. Right. But that’s not why we came to this planet, we didn’t come to this planet to be cookie cutters. What works for one person is not going to work for you. And that is okay. What you need to understand is that you need to find what works for you, honor it, and then cherish it, you know, like Earth altars work really well for me, somebody’s going to find something else that works really well for them. You know, and I think it’s just coming to this place of curiosity, right? We are unfortunately, older adults, right? Who are so distracted by everything around us where we have to be these picture perfect beings, right? That has to stay in color within the lines. But that’s not what we came here to do. We came here to create, we came here to explore. So the more that you explore, the more that you give yourself permission to open up to trying all these different things, you may find something that works better for you. And it’s not going to look like whatever but what works for everybody else. And again, it’s okay. This is your journey. So how do you want to navigate your journey?

Joe Quattrone 34:13
Very cool. So down in Costa Rica, like is it? Is everybody like you said you’re surrounded by healers and stuff like that? Like, is it? Is it a village where nobody drinks? Or is there alcohol around there? Like, are you confronted with temptation at all? Or is it you know, it was a big vacation? Is it like what’s going on down there? How do you cope? Or I guess where I’m getting with? With that is? If you were to go back to your old area in Los Angeles or California or wherever you were like, Would you be tempted by any of the old stuff used to do have you ever has putting yourself into a Costa Rican environment surrounded by a bunch of natural healers and stuff like that and alternative ways of living? Has that kind of taken you away from things He’s fully permanently or like, how do you feel like you would, you know, come to terms with your alcoholism and substance abuse? If you were back in that old environment? Absolutely.

Ashley Elizabeth 35:10
I think that that’s a really powerful question to ask. So I am surrounded by people who still drink, right? I am surrounded by many festivals, where there are large amounts of substances that are being used all the time. I can confidently say that I will never touch alcohol again, because I actually know what the spiritual representation of alcohol is. And my understanding of what we are, is that we are human beings, but we are spiritual as well, right, we have a soul that is just being housed inside this vessel for a short duration of this, you know, evolution, and our souls are really high vibration. And our vessels can be persuaded with whatever substances we’re putting in our body, whatever actions we’re doing, we can either raise our vibration by x that we do, or we can lower our vibration by substances that we consume. And what I had come to the conclusion of is that when I was drinking alcohol, which is a low vibrational substance, I was altering the vibration within my vessel, which was impacting my soul’s high vibration. When your soul is not able to be housed inside your vessel, once it reaches a certain threshold, it will detach from your body, and it will tether itself above your head, which then leaves your vessel to be susceptible to anything that is around us, we have been conditioned to only look at this 3d plane, we have not been informed of whatever what else is around us. And what really freaked me out when I started learning about all this stuff is that the English language has a lot of play on words. And so spirits, the drinks that you get, are not just because they’re called spirits, it’s because they attract things that you may or may not want to participate in. So spirits will actually hang out outside of bars, they’ll hang out outside of clubs, and they’re waiting. They’re waiting for you to take that 678 shot. They’re waiting for you to drink that many beers for your vessel to reach a threshold of low vibration. So that way again, your soul detaches itself. So that way, then another entity can then take house in your body. When I talked earlier about when I had this aha moment of all the abuse that I had endured, I had to really swallow the red pill of what did I allow my body to go through? Right, again, I was harmed as a little girl. But I was inducing a lot of harm to myself. I was allowing these other entities to take house inside my body to do with it as they pleased, right, everybody wakes up the next morning, they don’t know where the bruises came from. They don’t remember the taxi ride home. They can’t recall anything that they’ve said. They don’t understand what it is that their friends are telling them that they’ve done. They’ve to turn into a completely different person. And it’s because something else took house in your body and took it on a joyride. And so personally, that’s my own belief. Everybody has their own beliefs, that is mine. And with that understanding and knowing with my own personal truth, it has given me enough power and confidence within myself to say that is not something that I will allow inside my body anymore. I will not allow anything to have access to this vessel ever again. Nope. Cocaine, on the other hand, is a little bit harder. I’m here in Costa Rica, we have an envision festival every year. I went to an event last year. I found myself slipping back into using cocaine, I relapsed essentially. And so this year, envision is coming back around, it’s going to be next month in March. And I am not going. I’m not going because I know that I’m not in a space yet in my healing journey where I can safely and confidently say I won’t touch it if it’s offered to me. So I’m just going to be honest, there are certain substances that I can confidently say I will never touch again. There are other substances where I think are a little bit harder for me to detach from which means that I personally need to detach myself from those spaces to keep true to my values and my morals.

Joe Quattrone 39:40
Oh, you’re here to hear me total nation. Put the bottle down. Dammit. You know those spirits hanging around the bars? Yeah, wow,

Kary Youman 39:47
that was really well put in speaking of spirits, actually. Again, another way we connected it was online. I’m not sure if you can run this. Maybe you can talk about it but you have a brand called your sober signs where you all are essentially cheerleading and are really advocating for people who’ve been in recovery. Whether it’s one day or one year or 10 years, you all have done an incredible job of just creating a community and really celebrating people. Would you be open just to talk to me a little bit about just kind of how that was born, and just sort of what the next iteration of that is for you? Yeah,

Ashley Elizabeth 40:17
absolutely. Um, so I want to give a shout out to Phil. Phil is the curator of your sober signs on Instagram. He picked up a piece of cardboard one day and wrote his sobriety duration on it and posted a picture and it opened up the floodgates of everybody else wanting to hop on the bandwagon. That was rendition one, so I can’t take any credit for that. That is all Phil. But it was, yeah, thank you, Phil. And so for me, I started posting on that page when I had started going sober. I remember posting my first sign, and I had this download, and I was like, someday I’m gonna support this page, like this page is supporting me. I didn’t know how, but I had this knowledge. And I posted on the page every so often, every year, so and so this year, in particular, I was celebrating 1111 days, it was an angel number, and I felt really called to share on that day. And so I posted the picture. And Phil reached out and he was like, congratulations, how are you doing? Because again, it’s a community we had been keeping in contact over the course of the years. And he was like, I see you’re in Costa Rica now. Like, you know, just tell me more about like, what’s going on? Where are you at, and I was sharing with him all the things I was doing here in Costa Rica, but I was also sharing with him about my, my passions, and these projects that I really wanted to put into motion. And one of them was giving back to the community like the community had given to me. And so I had told him about how I wanted to start my own podcast, that I wanted to give people the opportunity to share their story. Because I believe that sharing stories is probably the most powerful tool that we have, right? We used to sit around the fire and share stories, we used to sit around the kitchen table and break bread, right? But we don’t really do that anymore. And what’s the impact of that is that we’re not sharing what’s going on in our lives, we’re holding it within ourselves. And it keeps you in isolation, going back to what we were talking about earlier, right? Isolation is a really impactful thing on your psyche. It’s a really impactful thing on your aura, you know, and it can send you into this really deep, dark spiral. I remember when I had chosen sobriety, I had reached out or I had just mentioned it to one of these girls that I had worked with. And she and I had all this shame and guilt around my DUI. And she was like, as she goes, I’m six years sober. And I was like why? And I looked at this girl, I would have never thought that she had ever drank a day in her life. She was like, yeah, she was like, I was one of my friend group who couldn’t contain herself. I was the one that had to apologize. The next morning for things that I had said or things that I had done, I started seeing it impact my relationships, I was about to lose my high school sweetheart. And she was like, I had to make this decision for myself. Because again, I wanted to create a beautiful life for myself. And by her sharing her story, it sounded so much like mine. It’s so much like mine that I was like, whoa, I’m not the only one in my friend group. I was the only one in her friend group, she may have been the only one right but for her to be able to open up and to be vulnerable enough to share her story with me. It gifted me the opportunity to have community. And I was like, Wow, I’m not the only one. And then of course, I started my healing journey as well. And I was working with a medicine woman at that time. And she was hosting goddess ceremonies. And she was creating this really beautiful safe container where women could sit around a circle and they could share something in relation to the theme that we had, whether it was patriarchal winds, Mother wounds, Father wounds, Sister wounds, right, like all these wounds that were carrying with us, she gifted us an opportunity to have like the floor for two, five minutes, and share how these wounds impacted us and how that showed up in our life. And after 50 women share their story, you’re like, Oh my God, that’s my story. It didn’t matter how old they were. It didn’t matter what ethnicity they were. It didn’t matter where they came from around this world, it didn’t matter what their job was. Right? What mattered was that their story sounded just like mine. And it gave me this opportunity to have so much more empathy and so much more compassion for everyone sitting in that circle because I realized that we had all been harmed. In the same way. We had all been carrying the same burdens. It was just this final opportunity for us to open up and to share and to hold space for one another. And so yes, I’ve now started this segment on your sober signs called sober truths, where I give people the opportunity to share their story. Where were they, before sobriety? What was the sobering moment that they had? What does life look like now past sobriety so that way people can start seeing more into each other’s lives, and start honoring each other where their journeys have taken them, and where their journeys are now going.

Kary Youman 45:31
Yeah, you’re doing some beautiful work with that. Actually, I had a chance to kind of pop into the mocktail episode you did a couple of days ago. And that was a lot of fun. And yeah, definitely, we’ll make sure our audience has an opportunity to find you. But yeah, thanks for sharing that. And thanks for doing that work. Absolutely. So before we wrap up here, I would love to just hear what’s next for you. Actually, it’s been? I mean, it almost seems like you’ve lived an entire lifetime up until this point. But at the same time, it seems like you’re just getting started. What’s next for you?

Ashley Elizabeth 46:01
Yeah, absolutely. So Costa Rica has been a really beautiful opportunity. For me, I came here in search of a new career. But really what I’ve come to the conclusion of is that this has been a really empowering opportunity for me to find myself, for me to recreate myself. And I work in the retreat space. I have been head of hospitality for a few different retreat spaces. And they ranged in offerings from plant medicine, which is really extreme and intense healing, to excursions, yoga, more lighthearted, but still powerful, and healing nonetheless. And so I’m looking at these spaces where we’re really making these life changing opportunities and experiences for people, but how are they being supported when they go home? Right, kind of like what you were saying, Joe, earlier? How are you navigating going back into these environments? Right. And there’s a big, big missing piece. There’s a big missing piece. And it’s going back to are there containers, safe containers where people can be held? Are there spaces where people are being supported in the way that they need to be supported? And the answer is there are but not enough. And so for me, I have started an empowerment coaching business, where I am utilizing my behavioral degree to sit with people one on one here where they come up with a game plan to support them. So that we went we can really start heading in the direction in which they really wished to go. So that is something that is new on the horizon. For me, I’m really excited. You know, I’ve always wanted to be of service. I tried in the school system, and I was being met with a lot of adversity because of the system. And so now I’m really wanting to create my own system, and support people in the way that I wish or I feel that they really truly need.

Kary Youman 48:08
That sounds really cool. Ashley and how can people find you online and connect with you?

Ashley Elizabeth 48:14
Yeah, absolutely. Right now I have my Instagram page. So feel free to come follow me sliding my DMs, if you need any support of any kind. I am DOT Ashley Elizabeth. I just bought a domain name the other day, I’ll be creating a website soon enough. I am in a limbo right now between jobs. And I’m taking this next step in my journey where I don’t wish to support systems, I want to create systems. And so this is me taking a leap of faith and understanding that this is what source wants me to do. And it is yeah, creating, being my own entity. And really, yeah, pulling from all of these life experiences, whether it’s the education that I’ve received, the life experiences that I’ve lived, the stories that I’ve heard other people share, right, and really just creating this really holistic offering that I that I hope will really support and impacts our greater community.

Kary Youman 49:17
That sounds really fun, Ashley, and before we go, you know, let’s say we have a listener who’s just sort of on the fence right now of just making a change in their life, whether it’s, you know, recovery or just wanting to start a new regimen, any any insights, any wisdom just for someone to take that first step that you can offer? Absolutely.

Ashley Elizabeth 49:35
So when I decided that I finally wanted to heal myself, again, going back to this understanding that if hurt people can hurt people. Then the flip of that is to heal people and can help heal people. I was teaching children with special needs at the time. That was my first mission on this plane, and I had decided that it was finally time for me to start healing because I really wanted to help my children heal. So my journey started because I wanted to do it for my students, I wanted to do it for my babies. But what I’ve come to the conclusion of is that my babies have left me this opportunity for me to start healing and loving myself. And again, going back to the law of attraction, right? What we put out is what we get back. And understanding that means that in order for the world to reflect back to me what I want to see, I myself have to be what the world needs me to be. And the world needs me to love myself. That is it. That’s all I need to do is just to love myself. There’s so much power that comes from finally owning this relationship with yourself. You know, and so my encouragement is, do it for yourself. Put yourself first. I know a lot of people are out there and they’re like, Well, I have children and I have a spouse and I have a job. That is fine. You can honor all of those responsibilities as well. But you cannot operate from an empty cup. You can’t. So when you fill your cup, when you put yourself first, know that everything will then put you first as well. That’s the law of attraction. When you choose you. Everything else will choose you as well. Actually,

Kary Youman 51:27
you’re truly a diamond. Thank you so much for your time today. This was really, really insightful.

Joe Quattrone 51:31
Yeah, it’s a great place to end. Thank you so much for coming on.

Ashley Elizabeth 51:34
Thank y’all for having me. It’s been a real pleasure.